Of CITs in swimsuits
by Torie Rilistkrytcat
Summary: Short Oneshot. Chris's seedy comment about Courtney's figure flatters her more than it should. A fail attempt at writing Chrisney, set during TDWT.


**This will probably be a fail. I have been attempting to write Chrisney for a while, and chickened out every time I started because my attempts were so terrible. I hope this is actually decent. **

**I am SO SORRY if this is really OOC or something. **

**I do not own Total Drama, and I typed this on my IPad so please excuse spelling errors.**

**This is set during TDWT, when the contestants are stuck in Jamaica.**

* * *

Getting stuck in Jamaica was actually a dream come true for Chris McClean; while the contestants risked their lives in a number of painful and dangerous ways, he was able to lounge around, enjoying the sun and bossing his group of interns around. Since they were in a beach environment, he barely had to think about the total drama contestants; when the challenges were over, he found he could basically dump them on the beach and leave them to their own devices, while he drunk multiple cocktails and sunned himself like a fat housecat would in front of a window. The only time he even cast his eyes on the bunch of teenagers he was babysitting was to call out annoying insults, or to watch for a bit longer than he should have when the girls strutted around in their swimsuits, revealing more skin than usual...

Chris thought smugly that his job had serious perks.

Somewhere in another country, Bridgette and Geoff were desperately trying to raise funds to refuel the plane and get the show going again, but privately Chris didn't care if they took a little while. The best part of his job (well, apart from abusing and torturing whiny teenagers) was the self-granted relaxation time, and he absolutely loved Jamaica. Most of the competitors weren't opposed to a few days of R&R in a luxury destination, either,since it was a nice break from the stress of the competition. However, one of the contestants had a problem with this, and began to get on Chris's nerves with their frequent complaints...

"_Excuse_ me," Courtney demanded, and the host let out a very loud groan; she was inevitably going to complain about their extended time in Jamaica, for what would be about the eighth time that day. Sure enough, she gave him a very irritated look, and began reeling off complaints.

"We've stayed here for three days now, and I don't like it!" she sniffed, folding her arms. "As the host of the game, the rules or reality Tv state that you're supposed to provide us with certain amenities! I've made a list of the problems with us staying here, which I will now read to you..." She whipped a ridiculously fat list out, waving it in front of Chris's face. Chris merely stretched further out on his reclining chair, taking a long sip of a tropical cocktail from beside him.

"Could you move a bit to your left?" he told Courtney lazily. "You're blocking my sun..."

Courtney shot him a withering glare, but ignored him and began to read out her list of complaints.

"Problem number one," she announced. "You haven't provided us with sunscreen! If I get sunburnt, I am going to sue you for the dermatologist bills, plus the humiliation of having to have peeling skin on TV! Plus, my burnt skin could give me a disadvantage in the game, so in the event of sunburn I will be forced to insist that the game is put on hiatus until I've healed completely-"

"Yeah, yeah." Chris interrupted rudely, rolling his eyes at the C.I.T. "Look, if you're getting burnt, go stand under a palm tree or something..." he flapped his hands at her dismissively. "Go away, now."

However, Courtney was undeterred by this; if there was one thing she strived to do in life, it was get whatever she wanted. Clearing her throat, she continued to recite her carefully constructed list out to a rather annoyed Chris.

"Problem number two; toilet facilities. There is a serious lack of hygiene on the plane bathroom, and while we're stuck in Jamaica, the chemical toilet isn't being cleaned! We could get Cholera! Not that I care if any of the others get sick, but if I get any diseases brought on by lack of hygiene, then YOU are going to be paying for all the hospital bills, and I will make sure that you have to clean all the airplane toilets yourself-" she paused, before glaring sharply at Chris, who was now reading a magazine and rather blatantly ignoring her."Uh, you are supposed to be LISTENING TO ME here-" her eyes shot back to her list.

"Which brings me to problem number three; Lack of proper respect for your superiors- by superiors, of course, I mean people with high qualifications such as being a C.I.T. ..."

"CHEF!" Chris whined loudly, once again interruptimg Courtney's rant. "Can you get me some earmuffs or something?"

At Chris's clear disrespect for her "very important" list of complaints, Courtney let out a little indignant growl, before snatching Chris's newspaper from him.

"I'm going to phone my laywers!" she threatened loudly, throwing out her arms in a dramatic gesture. "Your show is completely unfair! If I don't win this season, you can expect a lawsuit for rigging the game..."

While the teenager prattled on, Chris just began to tune her out. He could have just moved away from the furious girl, but that would have involved actually being bothered to get up and do something for himself for once, instead of having everyone revolve around him and cater to his every need. It wasn't fair, he thought childishly, that Courtney was interrupting his relaxation time by making him listen to her stupid list of legal complaints, when he could have been relaxing, sipping alcohol and seedily checking the female contestants out.

_Hmm... Speaking of checking girls out..._

In all his years of rather inappropriately eyeing up the attractive female competition, Chris had never really bothered to check Courtney out. His eyes usually fell on Lindsay instead, since she was more his type of girl- Blonde, cheap and dumb enough not to realize just how seedy Chris was. She usually wore mini-skirts, low cut blouses and scanty bikinis, which always appealed to Chris, whereas Courtney covered herself up in clothing she deemed "appropriate" for a Counsellor In Training to be seen wearing- sensible capris and a sweater, hiding most of her body. However, since she was leaning in front of him as she babbled on and on about contracts and lawsuits, Chris found himself looking at her, in her tankini. It was nowhere near as revealing as the bathing costumes that Heather, Gwen and even Sierra sported, but it still clung to Courtney's physique, and revealed enough of her stomach to his rather vulgar taste. With her hair tied back, showing off her large eyes and delicate facial structure, the host found himself thinking that she was actually kind of... Hot.

For an annoying perfectionist, anyway.

Bored out of his mind with her high-pitched string of endless complaining (she'd now gone on to informing him that the "sun was too hot" and if she got heatstroke or dehydration then he'd have to pay for any medical expenses), Chris hadn't actually meant to say it out loud. However, it had just kind of... Slipped out.

"Hey C.I.T., nice butt..."

Courtney froze for a moment, the list she'd been reciting dropping out her hands and scattering into the sand in shock. Then her face reddened in fury, eyes narrowing into little slits at Chris.

"You- I- _I WILL SUE YOU FOR SEXUAL HARRASSMENT_!" she shrieked viciously, stomping her foot down in a childish way. " How dare you say something like that to me! I have a boyfriend, you know!"

Chris just smirked, before taking another long swig of his drink; he was completely unfazed by Courtney's fury. Muttering flustered threats, Courtney turned on her heel and stormed away, leaving Chris chuckling to himself; he'd managed to successfully get rid of her, plus get an even better view of said "nice butt" as Couney stomped away from him. Now that he'd noticed it, he couldn't help wondering how he'd never noticed before that Courtney was kind of hot, even if she wasn't blonde and permanently had an invisible rod up her butt...

"He is WORSE than Duncan!" Courtney muttered angrily under her breath as she stormed over to where the other contestants were engrossed in a game of beach volleyball in their teams, Heather and Alejandro both bragging loudly to each other from either side of the net about how they'd "beat each other's ass". As she walked over to join her fellow amazons, Gwen looked up, before frowning slightly.

"Are you blushing?"

Courtney instantly denied it with a snippy "no," but realized with mortification that Gwen was actually right; she touched her face, and was surprised to feel that it had actually grown very hot...

_It's just sunburn, _She decided firmly, thoughts tinged with irritation._ I mean, there's NO WAY Chris's stupid comment actually flattered me!_

This was a reasonable explanation for her heated cheeks, and she made a mental note to enquire into suing Chris for the cost of aloe vera sunburn treatment when she could. It was really irresponsible of him not to provide sunblock, especially when Courtney was prone to contracting a few freckles. If her skin started peeling, then Chris would have hell to pay, she decided sourly. He was a stupid, immature, annoying, sadistic, unprofessional, hot host-

Wait, had Courtney just thought he was HOT? The C.I.T. froze, before narrowly dodging the volleyball Cody had just served as it came hurtling towards her; she was completely distracted from the beach game going on around her. The idea that she'd very nearly thought of Chris as hot repulsed her- she wanted to scour out her mind with bleach for even considering that. She had a great boyfriend- Duncan was _perfect_... or he _would_ be, when she changed those few (48 and counting- she'd been compiling one of her trademarked lists) annoying things about him. Chris was a sleaze who was far older than her, and had just hit on her despite the age difference; he was completely revolting.

He did have a nice chest, though. Courtney had secretly always had a bit of a thing for a toned, smooth chest and that was something Duncan was actually kind of lacking- NO! The C.I.T. shook her head furiously. What was _wrong_ with her? Maybe she was delirious from heatstroke.

"Hello? Earth to little Miss Perfect?" Heather snapped rudely, waving a hand in front of Courtney's face and interrupting her thoughts. "Either you can just stand around like a gaping loser, or you can join the game." She indicated the ongoing volleyball match. Courtney frowned, before straightening up.

"I think I need to go inside for a bit," she sniffed, sticking her head in the air and stalking across towards the plane. She needed some time out of the sun to get her mind back on track. She tried not to notice the fact that Chris was lounging in his chair nearby, watching every step the girl took eagerly, though- and, she reiterated firmly to herself, this was purely due to sunburn or something- she could still feel her face heating up slightly.

The host was surprised that he'd never really seen Courtney as a pretty girl before, having usually been blinded by her outer... _Scariness_. Now, he began to wondered how he'd ever missed how good her figure was- he would not miss it again. Chris made a mental note to organize many, _many_ more swimming challenges and see that grey swimsuit again. For a split second, he realised just how disgusting that sounded, planning the challenges in his show so that he could ogle an underage girl in her bathing costume, but he shrugged it off; Chris was never one to care about what was right and what was wrong, especially when girls were concerned. This would definitely NOT be the last time he hit on the C.I.T...

* * *

**Yep. A rushed, non-romantic, plotless OOC fail. Sorry...**


End file.
